“Uncle Fester”

Tell us a story — fiction or non-fiction — with a twist we can’t see coming.

Laughter-Quotes-59

Fester O’Connor, was always a mischievous child being raised in the small town of Gumption FL. Two days before he graduated from high school in 1958, he painted the roof of the school red with a white cross as a prank. This caused the local farming helicopter pilot to land on the high school believing there was an emergency.

After the commotion, he admitted to causing the prank and was sent home feeling embarrassed and ashamed for committing the prank. His parents scolded him severely and the local sheriff threatened him with imprisonment.

Three days after he graduated high school, he dyed his ethnically Irish reddish hair. “Jet-black,” and strutted around town looking like a black-haired rooster with red eyebrows.

One day after dying his hair, he rode his bicycle to Miami Florida, where he took a boat to Cuba. He went to work for the local Rum Distillery, and after five years he became the manager of the plant. He maintained the position for the next 52 years, before retiring to the homes he built and designed for his family in the neighboring village.

He took the Nickname Uncle Fester, after viewing the,1960’s, Adams’s Family television show while he as in Havana Cuba. .

Uncle Fester married four different women. He fathered fifteen children. Of those 15 children, he has forty-five grandchildren, twenty-six great-grandchildren and eighteen great, great-grandchildren. Oh yes, Uncle Fester is one of one of the most revered men in his village.

More than half of his children and great-grandchildren works for the Rum Distillery, while the others have gone on to get college educations in Europe, South American and America.

He and other village elders built and established a three room school, a library and 2 computer rooms. Because of his Irish roots, his progeny show either his freckles, tinted red hair, and lighter bright pale reddish skin or some combination of all. Yet Uncle Fester still dyes his hair black.

His eldest son is an attorney and college professor living in London. He surprised his father on his birthday with tickets to visit Gumption Fl.

The father, became angered, raising his voice, he declined to take the tickets, telling his son, my home is Cuba. The homes, I built for your mother, your sisters, and your brothers are located in Cuba. I purchased the surrounding lands for all my children and their offspring to either build their own homes here or live where they chose with the education I have provided.

Gumption Fl is where I was born, not where I wish to visit.

This devastated the son who, along with all his sibling were perplexed with wanting to know why their father, one of the most revered men in their village had no wish to return to visit his birth place.

Their father began to cry as his children and great-grandchildren began asking and induced him to offer an explanation. He described how he painted the red cross on the roof of the school as part of a high school graduation prank.

With tears in his eyes, he leaned forward speaking with a soft hushed tone as all of his fifty plus family members gathered closer to hear and learn of his explanation. He stated, he has not spoken the truth in over fifty years about the truth of the helicopter landing on the school’s roof.

The truth is, the weight of the helicopter caved in on top of the elementary section of the school. The ceiling fell striking a third grader killing him instantly, who was Uncle Fester’s little brother seated in the classroom.

The local sheriff threatened to arrest him. His mother and father would not speak to him and he became depressed, changing his hair color to hide his shame and guilt for causing the death of his little brother.

As he spoke, the entire family was stunned and shocked.Their father and grandfather was crying as he finished the story and they all sat in silence when he suddenly yelled aloud.

April Fools!

The father said of course he would take the tickets to visit his birth home. So the plan was put in place and their adventure to visit Uncle Fester’s birth place soon began.

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5 thoughts on ““Uncle Fester”

      1. Yes, it is celebrated here. Thank you. It is also my sister’s birthday. However today (our April Fool’s Day) – I went to a funeral and celebrated the life of a close friend’s mother who passed away, I forgot all about April Fool’s Day.

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