“Angry voice of gratitude.”

If-they-dont-respect-appreciate-and-value-you

I will never forget the sunny Monday morning inside the coffee shop, knowing you had seen me dozens if not hundreds of times reading the new paper.
But on this particular morning, your cheerful smiling hello sparked my day of depression its hope when you agreed to hike a local trail with me.
I was happy using my new hiking poles to steady my walk, as I conversation ignited the possibilities of hope in my life. But it was your suggestion for us to share dinner after our hike, that sent my thoughts spinning wildly.

It has been three months of continuously being together daily and weekly travels, touring museums, hiking National Parks and birthday celebrations. I tried tampering my imagination, but it was our first kiss that unleaded the hope I believed we could have some semblance of a life together.

I believed and felt secured in your acceptance or at least looked past my behaviors of staying up late at night, telling silly jokes, and my obsessions with black and white movies.

During our time together you quelled the loneliness within my heart, with the intimacy we have shared. You inspired my thoughts with the possibilities and daydream fantasies of us sharing time together allowing my inner passion to say, “I love you.”

Now you sit before me, explaining your reasons why you want to end our relationship based on you never felt comfortable with my race, my ethnicity, and my disability.
I thought you were impressed when I hiked using the hiking poles instead of my walker.

No, no, no please no tears!
I do not want to see your eyes welling with tears of shame seeking my forgiveness and understanding.

Tonight you have destroyed my faith and hope in the possibilities of a relationship with anyone and re-secured my heart to accept a life of loneliness.

I want you to know, have endured many tragedies during my lifetime and at age 73 I have enjoyed a wonderful life after suffering through the Japanese-American internment camps of World War 2, the death of my wife and to outlive my son and only child.

Isabel Switzer, you have broken my heart, but not my spirit!

Now, I am filled with gratitude knowing I will overcome this heartache, moving forward in my life without you, knowing I will continue to experience a wonderful life and maybe, just maybe someone will share in my life. Someone who appreciates and accepts me for who I am.

break-up_inset2

My broken heart will recover from the calluses of my memories of us together ensuring my unyielding ability to love will recover to love again..
MJL
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